


I Know You Care

by CoffeeAndTae



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, First Times, virgins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 16:04:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4570773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeAndTae/pseuds/CoffeeAndTae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ayato has grown distant, and Hinami is worried. PWP basically.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know You Care

**Author's Note:**

> This was a request from my NSFW Tokyo Ghoul blog, and I spent a lot of time on it, so I thought I'd post it here.

They’ve grown to trust each other. It took a while to establish that trust, given both of their rocky pasts, but it built in increments over time. She’s picked up on his little idiosyncrasies, and she knows when he’s upset without him having to say anything. He’s noticed things about her, as well. The general iciness that covered his veneer has long since melted as he gradually got to know her.

Eventually, Ayato starts to feel something. It’s an entirely new thing; something he can’t quite put his finger on. It’s unsettling to him. He catches himself watching her when he thinks she can’t see. He stops himself as he realizes he’s drinking in every last detail of her body. He wonders what it would be like to touch her. He finds himself imagining what it would be like to hold her and run his hands through that soft, honey-brown hair of hers; to let the silky tendril slip through his fingers as he leans in, lips seeking hers. It fucking terrifies him.

He’s been acting strangely for the past couple days. Hinami notices, but she doesn’t say anything. It’s not like he would listen if she did, anyways. He’d brush her to the side like he so often does, barking at her to leave him alone and mind her own business. He’s more distant than normal, and while it wouldn’t have bothered her a few months ago, it does now. She misses his presence. She doesn’t know what she would classify their relationship as. She doesn’t even know if he sees her as anything more than a nuisance he’s been saddled with. Even still, those late nights of them sharing a couch, sharing shitty cups of coffee and comfortable silence were something that people did if they were at least friends. Right? She finds solace in this fact, leaves him be, and buries her nose in a tattered copy of a book she’s been perusing. She lingers on the same sentence, worries of Ayato’s well-being still plaguing her.

~

It’s been an entire week since he’s spoken to her. He’s said a few words here and there, but only if they were necessary. It’s eating away at her. She doesn’t know what to do, and she isn’t sure if she even should do anything. She doesn’t want to push him away any further than she already has. The distance between them is entirely too real and noticeable for her to ignore it, and as much as she’d like to, she can’t pretend it isn’t there. She’s forgotten how to pretend things are okay.

To break the ice, she timidly asks him if he would like a cup of coffee. This is partially because it’s been some time since she’s eaten and needs a distraction, but mostly because she’s missed the sound of his voice. The voice she’d managed to find and project after getting comfortable with him has vanished, and her wavering confidence is extremely visible. 

“Ayato-kun, do you think you would - maybe... um... like a cup of coffee?” She asks.

"Fine.” He replies in a cold voice, not looking at her or so much as acknowledging her presence. He doesn’t even chide her for stammering.

Her chest hurts. She bites her lip, opens her mouth to say something, but decides against it. She sets aside two mismatched, chipped mugs and starts on the coffee. It’s not a very good brand, but it sates their hunger. It doesn’t slake the craving entirely, but it helps. Her eyes are listless and glazed over as she waits for the coffee to brew. She pours it into the awaiting mugs with shaking hands and winds up spilling a generous amount of it on the counter. She cleans it up quickly and walks into the other room, wearing a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Here,” She says, her normally bright voice dulled. “I don’t think I made it too strongly this time.”

He accepts the cup without looking at her, muttering a barely audible, “thanks”. She can’t handle it. She doesn’t know what comes over her, but she suddenly slams her own mug of coffee down on the table with surprising force. Burning liquid splashes her fingers, but the slight pain is nothing compared to being ignored. This is the first time Ayato looks at her, really looks at her, in a week.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” She demands, and her voice shakes along with her entire being. “What have I done to you?”

His mouth opens and closes, and he looks like he’s going to say something, but the only thing that comes out is an incoherent, “wha?”.

“I know I’m not your favorite person, and I know I get on your nerves sometimes, but wh-” At this moment, her voice breaks. “Why won’t you speak to me? I thought - I thought we were -”

Friends? She can’t even answer that for certain. Instead of prattling on about feelings and being hurt, she shuts up. She turns her head and wipes her eyes. She’s almost angry at the tears, because she’s grown so much since they’ve met. She’s not a crybaby anymore, yet there the evidence is, etching tracks her blotchy face. The last thing she wants to do is cry in front of him.

“Goddammit - I -” Ayato leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and covers his face with his hands. “It’s not - Fuck, it’s not like that, okay? I don’t know how to - Just fucking forget it.”

He rubs his face and stands, setting his unsipped coffee aside. 

“No, I’m not going to! I’m not going to stand by and nod along without answers, I’m not a child, so stop treating me like one.” She manages, and it’s the angriest he’s ever heard her sound. “Why - Why won’t you talk to me? You couldn’t even look at me! If you want to leave me alone, just tell me, because I’m done being an inconvenience.”

He snaps his gaze to her, and she looks up at him. His bagged, dark eyes lock with her bloodshot ones, and for a moment, they don’t say anything. 

“You’re not an inconvenience,” he says finally, and it’s the most somber she’s ever heard him sound.

He returns to the couch, and she hates that her heart skips a beat when he keeps looking at her.

“Then what am I?”

She expects him to yell at her - call her a crybaby and storm from the room. That’s when she learns that even though she’s grown to learn him better than most, she still doesn’t know what goes through his mind. He pushes her back so that she’s lying down and her head rests against the arm of the sofa.

“Ay-”

She’s cut off by the heat of his lips. He plants his hands on either side of her head, caging her in as he kisses her. She can’t process what’s happening as it happens, so she freezes beneath him, unable to reciprocate. He pulls away, and he looks fucking frightened.

“Hinami,” His voice is small and weak as he speaks. “I care about you. I don’t know why, and it pisses me off, but I do.”

She decides to throw the fact that he’s unfiltered and lacks basic tact to the side for a moment and focuses on what he’s just said.

“I care about you, too.”

Instead of responding vocally, he presses his lips against hers a second time. He’s less rushed, and she melts into the kiss. It’s painfully obvious that neither of them have much experience in the physical love department. Their teeth clank a few times, and Hinami doesn’t exactly know the proper way to angle her head, but it doesn’t matter. They figure it out as they go, and as the moments pass, their kiss grows in intensity.

Ayato’s tongue slips past her lips, and she gasps a little as he slides it along hers. The feeling is foreign, and it’s a little strange to feel the wetness of the muscle, but Hinami finds that she doesn’t hate it. Ayato sucks her tongue into his mouth, wrapping his own around it, and he presses his body against hers. She’s glad he can’t see her face, because she’s bright red. Time is working in funny ways, and neither of them are sure how long they’ve been kissing as they break apart, panting and wide eyed.

“Hinami - can we - fuck, I mean -”

She looks at him curiously, warm, molten chocolate eyes bright, and the for the first time in a while, happy.

“What is it?”

He pulls his weight off of her and lifts his hand to stroke her hair like he’s been imagining for the past week. 

“Can we move this to the bedroom?”

“Oh.”

“We don’t have to -”

She shakes her head, mind made up.

“Let’s go.”

They’re both a little embarrassed as they stand to move to the other room, and Ayato is walking a little more strangely than he normally does. Hinami asks if he’s okay, and she’s met with a flushed face she’s never seen Ayato make before. She quickly learns the answer to her question when Ayato hovers over her after he pushes her onto the bed. He straddles her small body and presses himself into her as their lips meet again. She can feel him hard against her thigh, and she squeaks at the contact. Rather than interrupt the moment to point out what both of them already know, she throws herself into the kiss. Ayato’s teeth graze her bottom lip, and he bites down gently, eliciting a shudder and a shaky moan that makes him even harder than he already is.   
Ayato’s hands wander to the hem of her shirt, and he slides his hands underneath it to caress the soft skin of her small tummy. His hands are frigid, but she doesn’t care. It feels so good to be touched like this, and it’s even better that it’s Ayato. She wouldn’t admit it to him, but she’s fantasized about this more times than she can count. His lips leave hers, and it takes her a moment to register that he’s just asked a question.

“Wha?” She asks, eloquence the last thing on her mind.

“Can I take it off?”

Oh. OH. He means her shirt. She adverts her gaze and nods, battling internally with herself about whether or not she wants him to see her like that. It’s not that she doesn’t want to feel him against her, it’s that she’s not the curviest girl in the world. Her breasts are perfectly proportional to her tiny, thin frame, but she still has reservations and insecurities about them. Still, she allows her shirt to be pulled from her torso, and she doesn’t see the hungry, animalistic look in Ayato’s eyes as he looks at her flushed body.

“Fuck,” he breathes, and the low, raspy sound of his voice sends heat straight to her core. “Fuck, you’re so amazing.”

Before Hinami can deny it, Ayato is ducking down and pressing kisses along the plane of her stomach. She trembles, and her hands find his hair without her thinking twice about it. He revels in the feeling of her small fingers as he covers her body with his lips. He reaches behind her to unclasp her bra, and as smooth as he likes to think he is, it’s difficult to get open. She’s about to ask if he wants help, but he frees the clasp and tugs the offending garment from her body. She’s about to cover her chest with her hands, but Ayato is too fast. He sits up and pins her hands to the bed as his gaze rakes over her. 

“Goddammit, you’re perfect.”

He leans down again and captures her right nipple in his mouth. He swirls his tongue around the hardened bud, and Hinami arches against him, amazed that something like this is making her feel so good. Her heart thuds against her chest and she finds it hard to breath regularly. Her head swims, and the dizzying effect he has on her threatens to completely incapacitate her. She cries out when his teeth scrape her nipple, and he’s never been more scared of coming his pants than he is right now. 

“Ay-Ayato –“ She whines. “I feel –“

He looks up at her, eyes gleaming with mischief. 

“You feel?”

“I’m – “

He lifts his head so that he’s face to face with her.

“Tell me.” His breath fans across her face, and he somehow manages to smell like delicious coffee, even though their drinks lay untouched in the other room. “Tell me how I make you feel. What do you want?”  
She swallows the lump in her throat.

“I don’t know,” she answers honestly. “What do you want?”

A smirk tugs at his lips, and his left hand travels down to the fastenings on her jeans as he locks eyes with her.

“I want to take off all of your clothes, and I want to feel you against me. I want you completely naked and I want to make you feel good.”

She doesn’t understand how he can say such dirty things with such a straight face. Heat pulses through her body, and she’s certain she probably resembles a tomato by this point.

“I’ve never done this.”

He nods.

“I know. Do you trust me?”'

She nods, afraid she’ll start crying if she says anything else.

He unzips her jeans and pulls them down her legs. She raises her hips and shimmies them so to help him out, and he manages to peel them completely from her body. 

“It’s not fair.” She says in a small voice.

“What isn’t fair?”

She sits up and reaches forward to grasp his shirt.

“I’m the only naked one.”

“You’re not naked yet.”

“Ayato!”

“Fine, fine.”

He stands to divest himself of his own clothing and stops when he’s in his boxers. Hinami’s eyes widen at the tent in his black boxers, and he feels his face burn at her open staring. Not wanting to risk losing his nerve, he returns to her and lays her down so that her head rests on the pillow. Her hair fans around her and he’s almost mesmerized by how unreal she looks. She’s fucking beautiful. He moves a few strands of hair to the side so that he has easy access to her neck and kisses along the nape. Her hands dig into his back when she feels his fingers creeping along her inner thigh. She whimpers when his fingers make contact with her soaked panties, and he lets out an unattractive grunt at the feeling. He manages to peel the fabric away from her and works it down her legs until they’re dangling from her foot. Out of instinct, she kicks them away. She doesn’t have time to be ashamed of being completely exposed to him before he’s parting her folds and rubbing his fingers mercilessly along her heat.

“Ay – Oh, God, Ayato!” She doesn’t even realize she’s being as loud as she is, but small moans spill from her lips as he touches her.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he rasps. “How badly do you want me?”

He slips a finger inside of her and crooks it, and her eyes widen at the intrusion. He begins slowly pumping it in and out of her, and he can feel her relax as he prepares her.

“So soaked.”

“Ayato, don’t say things like that.” 

“Why not?”

He pulls his finger out of her, and she whines at the loss. He reaches behind his back with his free hand and pulls hers down to the front of his boxers. He presses it firmly against his hardened cock and grits his teeth at the feeling of someone’s hand other than his touching him.

“I want you. I’m not ashamed of it. I want you so fucking badly.”

Her eyes meet his, and she bites her lip.

“Ayato, I – I want you to be my first.”

“Are you – “

She nods before he can even finish the question.

“It’s going to hurt.”

“It’s you. Please.”

The sound of her pleading almost does him in. He knows he’s not going to last very long. It’s been ages since he’s jerked it, and he’s never even felt what it’s like to be inside of a girl. He moves away from her and stands, and she sits up to see him rooting through a drawer for something.

“What are you doing?”

He seems to locate what he’s looking for and holds it up. A box of condoms. She doesn’t ask why he has them, but they look like they’ve been unopened, so it’s unnecessary. He opens the box and grabs a foil packet from it. He tosses the box aside, too impatient to put it up, and returns to her. There really isn’t a sexy way to take off boxers, so he does it quickly and throws them aside. Hinami can’t help it; her gaze lowers. She doesn’t know what to expect; she’s never seen this part of the male anatomy before. She has diagrams of sexual education books to go off of, but that’s about it. They in no way prepare her for the real thing. She doesn’t know how to gauge a big one from a small one, but he looks big to her. The worry of it hurting increases with every second she scrutinizes his cock. He coughs uncomfortably, and she adverts her gaze, ashamed at being caught staring for too long. 

Ayato rips the packet open and rolls the condom onto his length, hissing as it reaches the base. He positions himself over her, and she gasps a little at the feeling of his naked cock against her thigh. He guides himself to her entrance and rubs against her. She cries out at the feeling, and her arms lock around his neck. 

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Just – Just hurry.”

He wants to tease her for sounding desparate, but he can’t really do that when he’s in no better a state than she. He pushes himself forward, and any hope of lasting longer than a few minutes extends far beyond his reach. He debates with himself about the best way to go about it. Should he go slowly? Or should he go quickly to get it over with? He sluggishly eases his cock inside of her and bites his lip when he reaches her barrier. 

“I’m sorry.” He murmurs, then thrusts forward until he’s completely sheathed inside of her.

She lets out a sound that’s a mix of a sob and a scream. He feels so incredibly guilty, and deciding that he needs to distract the both of them, he moves his lips to the smooth skin of her neck. She’s so fucking tight and hot around him, and no amount of bone-breaking and sickening bloody thoughts can deter from the fact that she feels like fucking heaven. 

“Are – okay?” Is all he can manage, and even then, his voice sounds strangled.

“I’m – Okay – move – you can move, Ay-Ayato.”

He’s not entirely convinced that she’s recovered that quickly, but he does as he’s asked, and he’s in no way prepared for it.

“Fucking shit, oh my – goddammit to hell –“

“You’ve got a d-dirty mouth, Ayato.” She says in a soft voice, and he swears he can hear her smiling.

She wriggles her hips against his, and her discomfort ebbs as he moves inside of her. His thrusts lack rhythm, and she’s a little shaky herself, but it doesn’t matter. She feels an incredible pressure building inside of her, and a heat spreads from her chest to the rest of her body. He’s getting faster, and he jerks against her with every thrust. His movements become erratic, and he swears.  
“Fuck, I’m going to – I’m going to come – shit,” He moans.

“It’s – It’s okay, do it, Ayato, let go.”

He pulls away from her neck to look at her, and when their eyes meet, he loses it. His hips snap into hers and he feels like he’s having an out of body experience as he ruts against her. She’s amazed at how beautiful he looks and sounds; his head is thrown back and his hair is a mess. His eyebrows are drawn together and his mouth is slack as he rides out his orgasm. She doesn’t reach her own climax, but watching him come completely undone above her is enough to sate her. He slumps against her, shaking and panting, completely spent. He pulls out of her and flops next to her.

“I’m - fuck.”

“It’s okay, Ayato.” She says soothingly, and he visibly melts when he feels her gentle hands stroking his sweat-slicked hair.

They lay like that for a few moments, a comfortable silence looming over them as they catch their breath. It’s only when Ayato moves down the bed and parts her thighs that the moment is disrupted.

“Ayato! What are you –“

“Consider us even after this.” He purrs, and when his lips make contact with her heat, she can’t find it in herself to argue.

They’ve grown to trust each other, talk to each other, and care about each other. They’re terrified, but they’re terrified together.


End file.
